Ode to another birthday and holiday without toxic family
Oh, celebrations when you are no contact with toxic family. There are SO many feels felt when you are celebrating another birthday or holiday without your toxic family.
Why are the emotions so weird and conflicting on this no contact journey?!? I know, a rhetorical question, or quite possibly the dumbest one I’ve asked to date. But for real!
I just celebrated another birthday..yay! Full of peace, surrounded by the ones I love and completely void of all toxic family (also, yay!) So why when the evening was over, I felt a bit sad that not a soul that I share DNA with called me or even acknowledged my existence? Have you ever felt that way? Don’t get me wrong..I do NOT miss the days of cryptic emails, flying monkeys and secret amazon packages arriving at my door on my birthday. Or worst yet, having to endure another holiday WITH them? I’ll pass.
So about 99.8% of me is relieved and happy that my toxic family is finally getting the message. But then there is this teeny part of me that feels rejection all over again. Thoughts of, well, I guess I really am that disgusting and unlovable that my toxic family just threw me away and never looked back. These feelings of rejection and disappointment actually made me feel embarrassed if I’m honest. Sigh..
Then, quickly followed by my birthday was Easter and another reminder that we are forging our way without those that we are related to.
On this episode of The Character Outs Podcast I talk about all the feels of birthdays and holidays as we continue to walk on this road of no contact with toxic family. I don’t know about you, but I would rather work through all of these emotions than go back to the chaos and misery. And that is exactly what we do.
So we stick close to the ones we love, our children, partner or chosen family and we focus on the blessings as we process all of these feels. You are not alone friend. Check out a few pics from the birthday gift my daughter surprised me with.
Recipe of the week:
Creamy Crockpot White Chicken Chili
Ok so this has been a family go to for YEARS! And everyone I have shared this with has instantly added it to their family recipe box as well. It is a cozy day here in NY and this is cooking in my crock pot as I type. I serve this over rice with chips, sour cream, cheese and avocado. Hope you enjoy!
The Chunky Chef: Creamy Crockpot White Chicken Chili
I hope you have a beautiful week, cheers ’til next post friends!
Check out the latest episode: all the feels of birthdays and holidays here:
SPOTIFY: Character Outs Podcast
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